If there are dots, it does not mean they should be connected.
Sometimes trying to understand things deeply and wholly is unfeasible.
There is a point where, to fully understand a system, you would need to stand outside of it — higher than yourself.
That is a contradiction.
At that boundary, approximation is not failure.
It is the correct response.
I learned this in a very ordinary way.
Maintaining eye contact used to feel difficult. Instead of forcing myself to understand why, I found something that works:
- I look at the midpoint between a person’s eyes
- I blink normally
- I let the interaction settle
I don’t fully understand the mechanism behind it.
Subconscious processes.
Hidden variables.
Emergent behavior.
But the result is consistent.
And consistency is enough.
Humans are exceptional at detecting patterns.
That is our strength.
It is also our weakness.
- We see meaning quickly
- We connect dots instinctively
- We prefer “maybe meaningful” over “probably noise”
Why?
Because in our evolutionary past:
- missing a real signal was dangerous
- believing a false one was usually cheap
That bias never left us.
It shows up everywhere:
- In dreams that feel symbolic
- In coincidences that feel arranged
- In chance meetings that feel “meant to be”
But not every dream is a message.
Not every coincidence is benevolent.
Not every encounter was destined.
Meeting a familiar face in an unexpected place does not require a guiding hand —
it may simply be one data point among countless possibilities, shaped by fragile conditions and branching paths that could have unfolded differently.
If there are dots, it does not mean they should be connected.
The same applies to first impressions.
Feeling uneasy around someone:
- might signal something real
- might reflect how they perceive you
- might reflect nothing at all
The fact that you cannot explain the feeling does not grant it authority.
It only reveals the complexity of the system producing it.
Meaning does not disappear when we stop forcing it.
It becomes:
- quieter
- more local
- less dramatic
- more honest
Not everything that works must be understood.
Not everything that is felt must be interpreted.
Not everything that happens must mean something.
And often —
that is enough.
